The Origins of Clowns

On the Origin of Clowns

They have no known single place of origin, they are ubiquitous, have always had a preference for humans given their corruptibility, and have walked among us for millennia. They are extraordinarily long-lived, and possess the strength of many men. Intellectually they are dull, not at all refined, they do not cherish knowledge, they crave just three things. Souls to harvest and flesh to eat, female clowns with whom they can copulate, and other hermaphroditic clowns with whom they can have sex. They are bisexual, in that they exhibit sexual preferences that can be described as both homosexual and heterosexual, but they also masturbate several times a day. They have penises that are variable in size while their vaginas are generally of one size but capable of accommodating even the most gargantuan member. They have no relationships beyond what their id drives them towards. They are clever in the sense that they are devious. They do indeed enjoy giving people a hot foot and squirting acid out of a flower that they have fastened to their clothing. But they are not at all inventive or creative beyond devious acts and clown buffoonery.